Saidan no Hitsuji

Chapter Six: Diluculo (Daybreak)

By Seishuku Skuld (skuldchan@gmail.com)

Sorry for the long wait, minna-san! ^_^

I've been terribly busy this week!

Chapter Seven might take a while too, many major things happen in the next chapter. Much angst. Much death. ;_; **cries**

Poor Auron.

Wow, I just keep adding chapters left and right! ^_^ This fic might be longer than I expected, so many poignant moments for Auron to write! ^_^ Some of the events in the FFX storyline I just have to write, because they're a time when Auron's thinking and angsting...and I won't let a drop of his angst slip by me~! Nope nope! ^_^

mou ni doto hagurete shimawanu you ni to...

kimi ni tsutaete okitai koto ga nee aru yo

tanoshii toki wa dare to demo wakachi aeru

dakedo tsuraku kanashii toki ni wa sou sou

hokano dareka nanka ja umerarenai

I'm going to try not to go astray anymore...

There is something I want to tell you.

I could spend the fun times with anyone,

but when I'm sad, yeah,

no one else can take your place.

-HAMASAKI AYUMI: Unite!

Música:

Hamasaki Ayumi: Daybreak

Macross Plus: After, in the dark

Macross Plus: Pulse

Final Fantasy X: Zanarkand ni te

~*~*~*~*~*~

I woke sometime at the break of dawn, the tentative sunlight filtering in through my window to the music of the birds trilling shrilly outside. I blinked for a few moments, clearing the sleepiness from my eyes. I sat up and rubbed them, feeling somehow still tired, and that it was still too early to get up.

I sighed contentedly as I looked over to Jecht, still sleeping. His chest rose and fell with regular breaths as he dreamed with a small smile on his face. I continued to smile at him, not thinking really, but waiting for my thoughts and emotions to sort themselves out.

I'd kissed Jecht last night. The moment seemed right. Or rather, he kissed me. What passed between us then was just a foggy remnant of a memory, I couldn't place the events in exact order, or retell what happened in detail. In our loneliness and our despair, we discovered each other, and came to love what we saw.

We'd made it back to my room, toppled into the bed, and done some more exploring. Jecht was like silence in the storm, an oasis in a vast, unending desert, and I realized I was the same to him. I remembered the breathtaking beauty of last night, lying in each others' arms and doing things with him I'd never even thought of the first time met. But from then on, I felt we would always be together, because we had found a way to live happily without the things we took for granted, the things we thought we'd always have.

Though there was nothing after Braska would die, I knew that Jecht at least, was something I could hold onto. We would mourn Braska together, and I would not be alone. Jecht would never see his family again, Mireiyu and Tidus, but he would never be lost and confused. We had each other, that's how we loved each other, and we were content.

I slid into bed again after all my revelations, through which Jecht still slumbered and snored slightly. The sun was creeping higher in the sky, but I remained tired and in no mood to further rouse myself. I threw what little of the blanket Jecht wasn't hoarding around myself, took him into my arms, and fell asleep.

***

"Well now, that's something I never expected to see."

"Wake up! Wake up, big sleepyhead!" I was being pounded on by a pair of miniature fists. I lifted the blanket off my head and there was little Yuna, smiling at me and shouting, "Wake up! No more sleeping!"

"Looks like you had fun last night." There stood Braska, his hands folded across his chest, an amused smile on his face. "But I never would have expected to find Jecht in your bed. Are you sure you two didn't have too much to drink last night?"

I laughed, "No, we didn't, believe me, Braska. I've never felt better, honestly."

Braska nodded, satisfied with my meager explanation. "I understand. I'm happy for you."

I sat up, mindful to keep certain parts of me covered, for the little girl in the room. She jumped on my legs and punched Jecht as hard as she could. He groaned and rolled right into me, one large arm coming to wrap around my waist.

"Mornin' Auron."

"Morning yourself, it's probably half way past noon already," I snorted.

"Yay!" Yuna cheered and clapped her hands, "Sir Jecht is awake!" She crawled over to the blanket and plucked it off his head. "Good morning!"

"Good morning, Yuna," he said with a laugh, lifting the child up, twirling her around and setting her gently on the ground. He also made sure to keep the blanket at his waistline.

"Come Yuna," Braska offered his hand and Yuna grabbed it. "We're going to wandering around the city and then have dinner at The Flying Dragon. Care to join us?"

I looked at Jecht. We didn't want to cut into Braska's time with his daughter.

"We'll just join you for dinner," I said. "You go have fun with Yuna. We'll meet you at The Flying Dragon at sunset."

Braska nodded, "Sounds excellent. See you two then. Come on, Yuna." She held his hand obediently as he led her out of the room, but not before he turned back to us and winked, "have fun, boys."

"Oh we will," Jecht assured him, a grin on his face. As soon as the door shut and Braska and his daughter were out of earshot, we took each other in our arms and did some more discovering.

***

We left for Besaid Island a few days later, after Yuna said her tearful goodbye. She clung onto her father's robes as she sobbed into them, pleading for Braska not to leave her.

Braska merely smiled, and patted her on the head. "I have to go, darling. Promise me you'll be good, for me and for mother."

It was quite a while after he finally got her to calm down, and she wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "Okay, I'll be good. I promise, Daddy."

"That's my good girl," he stroked her hair one last time as he boarded the ship.

"Good luck, Daddy!" The girl waved, her arm extending in a long arc as she jumped up and down. "I'll miss you!"

"I'll miss you too, darling. Goodbye!" Then he lowered his head, trying to hide his tears from Yuna.

Jecht and I watched the exchange quietly. We would be sailing back to Bevelle before heading off to Gagazet, but we both knew Braska wouldn't be seeing his daughter again on his way to Zanarkand. The tearful goodbye was already said, leaving Braska emotionally and physically drained. I doubt if he had it in him to say goodbye again.

"I'm going down into the cabin," he told us briskly before heading down as the ship left port, unfurling its great sails bearing the insignia of Bevelle.

Jecht and I watched the tiny figure slowly diminish as it continued to stand on the pier, waving and watching, until another larger figure came and took it away.

"Goodbye, Yuna," Jecht whispered. It was also a way for him to say goodbye to his son, who he'd never be seeing again.

We continued to stay on deck, leaning on the railing and watching our ship cutting through the waves, the white foam surging to the sides as we sailed. I looked over a Jecht at one point, wondering what he was thinking. I saw his cheeks were damp, but I couldn't be sure whether or not it was the spray of sea water.

***

We were very quiet on the last leg of our trip, and though Jecht often tried to lighten the mood with his jokes, overall the atmosphere of our pilgrimage remained very silent and oppressive as we each brooded about the end, which was quickly approaching.

With a heavy heart I promised Braska I'd take Yuna to live at Besaid. I could see the hurt on his face as he asked me, the pain it cost him at every mention of his daughter, and the thought that he'd never live to see her grow up.

"I want you and Jecht to raise her together," he'd said to me, while Jecht raced towards the village to fill his stomach. I'd smirked knowingly, sometimes things never change, but I wished that was true all the time. "You'd be good fathers for her. I want her to live a life away from all this conflict."

I nodded then, "you have my word. I will bring her here." It was the least I could promise him.

***

It was cold on Mt. Gagazet, the home stretch as we neared Zanarkand Ruins. Braska thought increasingly of his daughter, often speaking in his sleep as Jecht and I watched over him together. He was mostly silent during the day except when he recorded the spheres for Yuna. Jecht and I always left him alone and wandered off as he gave his private messages.

"You know, Auron, I'm worried about Braska," Jecht said softly to me one night. It was my turn for watch, but Jecht insisted on staying up with me. It was a silly, foolish thing to do, he would hardly get sleep at all that night, but he just grinned and told me he didn't mind. I didn't protest.

"He's missing Yuna very much. And Reiu too. He's resisting every step closer to Zanarkand, but he wills himself forward because of them."

Jecht shook his head and sighed. "But he's doing the right thing, isn't he?" He looked to me for confirmation, the dying firelight shadowing half of his face as he turned.

"That's what we were taught," I responded, staring into the glowing embers, "but it's a cruel thing to accept."

We sat there quietly, huddled together for warmth, too tired to go and search for wood to keep the fire alive. We knew we wouldn't find any, not in this snowy wasteland.

"Do you think we can reach Zanarkand tomorrow?" Jecht asked finally, leaning his head on my shoulder and placing an arm about my waist.

"We certainly can, but will we?" I closed my eyes, I was tired. The trek up the mountain had been long and arduous, and the permanent blizzard hadn't helped. We were close to the summit when Braska called a halt for the day, looking bedraggled, wet, and most decidedly weary. "It's mostly downhill from here. It won't be too hard. But will we want to?" Braska's steps were growing heavier and slower, as if the burden he bore gained more weight the closer we came to Zanarkand.

There was a long silence between us as we sat together, still wondering what Braska's deaths would mean to us. Neither of us wanted Braska to die, he was simply too much a part of both of our lives. If there had been any way to save Braska or to convince him to turn back, I would have tried it. But Braska wouldn't budge and just kept pressing doggedly forward. There was nothing Jecht and I could do but accompany him, at least help see him to his goal.

"Braska..."I whispered into the night, "I will miss him."

Jecht nodded. "I will too." He held me tighter and bent down to press small kiss to my lips.

But I had Jecht. Braska would be gone, and I'd miss him sorely, but if Jecht was with me, I would survive and I would help him survive.

I sighed and closed my eyes as Jecht's weight bore me to the ground where we had lain our blankets together. I never bothered waking Braska up for third watch, but fell asleep instead, enjoying the warmth of Jecht's body next to mine. I wanted him with me, always.

***

We met a curious sight as we continued to Gagazet's summit the next day.

"What's this?" Jecht gazed wide-eyed at the arrays of bodies entombed in stone, a light blue mist floating about them, falling from the stone embankment and creeping about our feet. I was a very disconcerting sight.

"The fayth," Braska answered, looking about him in awe. "But something's draining their power...are they summoning something?"

I shrugged, wanting to get out the place as soon as possible. This many corpses in various grotesque positions, protruding from stone was making me uncomfortable. The books we had studied in Bevelle had made some mention of this great wall, but said nothing as to what these fayth were doing, or anything along that lines that they were still active.

Like Braska, I too wondered what they were summoning, but decided I didn't want to know just yet. It wasn't that I was afraid of them, but more so that they unnerved me. It felt as if they all had their eyes fixed on me, though none of their faces were turned that way. They were staring into their tombs, but yet they still looked at me. The hair on the back of my neck began to rise up, and I glanced around, making sure no fiends were hiding in the shadows.

I turned my attention my side just as Jecht reached a tentative hand out to touch the wall. That was when he fell on the ground with a thump.

"Jecht!" In an instant I was at my knees beside him, but he lie still on the ground, breathing shallowly. "He's fainted!" There was a sickening knot in the pit of my stomach, though Jecht was still breathing regularly, I couldn't but help to think of all the 'what ifs'. Those were too frightening to fathom.

Braska quickly knelt beside me and placed his hands on either side of Jecht's face. After a moment he said, "I can't understand why a man like Jecht would faint like that." He shook his head. "He appears for all the world to be asleep."

"Asleep! Braska, people don't just drop to the ground and fall asleep."

"I know," Braska replied, his expression puzzled. "I don't have an explanation. All I know is that he's asleep. We'll wait and hope he'll wake up soon."

I narrowed my eyes at the fayth in their summoning, dreaming, or whatever it was they were doing. Nothing moved of course, except for the waters of the pool nearby and the continually crawling mist.

Jecht woke a few minutes later, staggering to his feet with my help.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

He nodded and smiled at me, though he looked a bit distracted, like something was bothering him.

"You're apprehensive."

"I'm fine, Auron."

"Thinking of your family again?"

"Mireiyu and Tidus? No," he grinned at me, "I think about you much more."

I rolled my eyes and punched his shoulder. "You're a terrible liar, Jecht."

***

We made our way down from there. Though there was a fiend guarding the exit of the summit, our combined efforts had defeated it. We paused for a rest to let Braska recover some of his strength.

Jecht stood over the top of the mountain, and looked down at the Ruins of Zanarkand.

"So this is...Zanarkand," he murmured silently. His home, his life, destroyed. Just empty monuments of rubble, populated by nothing but pyreflies flitting about.

I said nothing, simply stood by his side. He needed all the support I could give him now. Somewhere inside him, he had still hoped that he would be able to see his home again, that it would be there lying in wait for him. But all hopes of that were dashed now, and as we strode down the mountain to the setting of the sun, it served as just another reminder of what Jecht had left behind. Those were memories I couldn't erase, ones not even I could replace. But I grasped his hand anyway, because I knew I could at least help.

"We'll take a rest at the bottom," Braska said, leading our little group down. We walked silently and solemnly down the slopes, each with our own thoughts.

We took a break at the base of the mountain, resting our weapons in the ground, my sword with Jecht's as we sat silently around a small campfire.

Braska stared off into the sunset, one of his last. The sun cast a red-pink glow across the entire sky, lit by the dying light. He sat on the ground with his legs crossed, chin resting in his hands, stray strands of light blue hair floating the soft breeze.

I sat with my head on Jecht's shoulder, wondering what my life would be like without Braska. I'd never really thought about it in detail before, not even during our travels before. It had still seemed so impossible that Braska would die. But now that we were just a step away from Zanarkand, the inevitability of his death loomed ever closer. For the first time I looked it in the eye, I wasn't afraid anymore, not with Jecht's arms around me.

I saw my life with Jecht in some small island town like Besaid, raising little Yuna and watching her grow. He would play blitzball for their local team, and I would teach the warrior monks at the Temple. It seemed to be so incredibly fitting, though Braska was missing. But somehow, we would manage between the three of us, Yuna, Jecht and I. Yes, that's the way things were going to be. Without Braska, but with Jecht, who'd suddenly come to fill a large vacuum in my life. I wanted to, needed to spend the rest of my life with him. And in that sense, the vision I saw fulfilled my wishes perfectly. Life without Braska wasn't nearly as frightening as before, and if he was determined to give his life for Spira, I would give him my strength and support.

Jecht closed his eyes, holding me tight. I sensed a strange urgency from him, as if losing Braska meant losing me as well. I wondered what was wrong, what it was he wasn't telling me. I sighed. He'd never been good at explaining things, and if he clammed up there was nothing I, or anybody else could do about it; so I just sat at his side.

***

The sun had already set, and the sky was getting dark when we set out for Zanarkand. Jecht and I had suggested resting that night, but Braska shook his head.

"I want to get this over with, the sooner we deal with Sin the better."

I nodded, respecting his decision. Sin could destroy an entire village in a matter of minutes, we were lucky he hadn't yet attacked any towns while we were on the pilgrimage. Braska now hurried as fast he could, not wanting to put any more lives on the line.

"All right," Jecht got up, stretched, a couple of joints creaking and popping, "let's go."

"Right," I said, falling into step beside Jecht's casual stride, "to Zanarkand."